


I'll Cry If I Want To

by our_eternal_love_affair



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Alastor Has a Heart (Hazbin Hotel), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angel Dust-Typical Sexual Content (Hazbin Hotel), Asexual Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Good Friend Cherri Bomb (Hazbin Hotel), M/M, Multi, Not Canon Compliant, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Poor Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Sex Worker Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Soft Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Valentino Being a Jerk (Hazbin Hotel), Vox Being a Jerk (Hazbin Hotel)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:02:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27033874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/our_eternal_love_affair/pseuds/our_eternal_love_affair
Summary: Angel Dust's journey to self respect and a love that is true.
Relationships: Alastor/Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Angel Dust/Vox (Hazbin Hotel), Valentino/Vox (Hazbin Hotel)
Kudos: 36





	1. Chapter 1

# Table Of Contents:

1\. It’s My Party

2\. Cry Me A River

3\. Cry

4\. Just Let Me Cry

5\. Cry And You Cry Alone

6\. No More Tears

7\. Judy’s Turn To Cry

8\. I Understand

9\. I Would

10\. Misty

11\. What Kind Of Fool Am I?

12\. The Party’s Over


	2. It's My Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angel Dust's boyfriend gives him quite the birthday surprise.

Angel sighed as he looked up at the clock. Vox was supposed to be here by now. Had he messed up the time on the invitation? No, he triple checked them. Maybe he was in traffic. An Overlord, stuck in traffic? Really Angel? He just shook his head and accepted that Vox was too busy. Until he saw him walk through the door.  
“Vox!” He exclaimed, turning to walk toward him, but freezing in place as he saw Valentino on his arm, wearing his ring. Vox gave Valentino his ring? 

Angel couldn’t do a single thing but sit down in the corner and cry, tears rolling down his cheeks as he watched Vox and Valentino dance together, Valentino’s smile cruel and demeaning. Angel couldn’t understand it - Vox was supposed to be his! They’d been going steady for a month or two, and now all of a sudden, this? It made no sense. Had Angel done something wrong? What could he have done to deserve this humiliation at his own birthday party?

He sobbed as he grabbed a cup from the refreshment table, pouring himself some punch before sitting back down, watching as everyone else laughed and danced, having a blast. He got a few looks from guests, seemingly confused as to why the birthday boy was crying. Cherri was nowhere to be seen, so she was probably beating someone up, unaware of what was happening to Angel.

Why did things like this always happen to Angel? Even when he was alive, somehow his boyfriends always ended up leaving him or cheating on him. It was a pattern, but he didn’t know how to break it. It was like he was stuck in a loop with the same person, just a different face each time. Angel huffed as he went upstairs into his bedroom, seeing two people making out on his bed. 

He kicked them out before throwing himself onto the bed, sobbing into the pillow as he mentally replayed the scene of Vox walking in with Valentino over and over again, feeling the hurt and betrayal settle into his stomach. The bile started to rise and all of a sudden, he was rushing to the bathroom, emptying the contents of his stomach into the sink. This was the worst birthday ever. He had been dumped publicly, judged and now he had thrown up. 

This couldn’t get any worse. There was no way it could. He was all together 110 years old, and he couldn’t believe this was still happening to him. Tonight was supposed to be perfect. He had put out all types of drinks, he’d put all of the best songs on, there was food, the decorations were perfect - but everything had gone to double-Hell. 

This was just not Angel’s night. He accepted that. He watched his pig scramble at the side of the bed and picked him up, cuddling him to his chest as he sobbed and sniffed, upset that he thought anything could go well for him. It wasn’t like he had done anything bad to Valentino, and he thought that Vox loved him, that he wanted to settle down with him. Apparently he was wrong, as he could hear everyone cheering for Valentino and Vox downstairs. He was having the party in his family home, which he was crashing at for the time being. Sure, his father was abusive, but he was always too busy to be home, so when he was, Angel could just go shopping, or he’d be at work.  
Angel huffed. His life had been terrible since he turned 15. He’d discovered he was gay, then he ran away after his father insisted on therapy, only to end up as a prostitute. He took payment in different ways, such as rent money, nice clothes to attract the higher end customers, cash, and the one he wanted most; drugs. He overdosed at the age of 30, landing in Hell covered in PCP, which gave him his stage name - Angel Dust. 

Things had been good after he met Vox and they had got together, but obviously Vox didn’t share the same opinion. Men only wanted to hurt and steal and lie and cheat, Angel had decided. He was a fool to think anything else. He had finally had enough, and it was time to grow up. There were no happily ever afters, no riding off into the sunset, and there was no real meaning to ‘I love you’ if it came from a suitor’s lips.

Angel had wished and prayed to be straight, so he could find a nice girl and treat her right and be happy. That’s all he wanted. He wanted to be a perfect son with a perfect wife and perfect children, but that’s not what he got. He got rejection, addiction and then died young and alone, his body found in an alley. 

He thought he’d fit in in Hell, but he was thought of as an object. He’d just resigned himself to it, but Vox just had to give him hope. Vox. He had dumped Angel for Valentino. On Angel’s birthday. Angel normally would tell himself he was being dramatic, but it was his birthday today. 

It was Angel’s party, and he decided that he could be tough later. Right now, he needed to cry.


	3. Cry Me A River

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angel can't seem to decide if he will be weak or tough when it comes to standing up to the men in his life.

“Travis? What are you doing here?” Angel asked as an ex-lover stood at the door. It was supposed to be a one-time thing, but Angel had issues of attachment.   
“I wanted to see how you’re going. Maybe have a drink or two.” Travis smiled. He had a wife, and Angel knew that Travis would choose the wife over him any day.  
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Angel sighed. 

Angel remembered the things Travis had put him through. He’d said things that Angel could still hear in his head when he was feeling low.   
“Why not? We had a connection, you know. And I’ve been real lonely without ya, babe. I’m cryin’ the whole night. I think we still love each other, Angel. I’m sorry.”  
“You told me love was plebian. You’re married, and now you’re lonely? Crying yourself to sleep?”  
Angel shook his head. He couldn’t believe this. 

Men really were scum. All they wanted was a moment of fun and to dip when it got serious.   
“Cry me a river and fuckin’ drown in it! You don’t know how many I cried for you when you decided to stay with your poor wife, you bastard! I tore my hair out and screamed the place down, and now you’re sorry for all the manipulation, the emotional gaslighting - the lies!? Why is it that this shit always happens to me!? All you men want from me is a good fuck and a cheap laugh.”  
Angel scoffed.  
“I remember all of the little things you’d say to fuck me up. You really went all out. Then ya tossed me to the side when your wife got plastic surgery, and now you’re bored again. You want easy, fragile, lonely, desperate little Angel Dust. Well, guess what? Prove it. Prove you love me. Fuckin’ cry me a river right here and now, build a bridge and walk over it to tell me you love me.”

Travis had stayed silent the whole time, watching Angel in scathing rage. For someone who was named Angel, he had a lot of pent up anger.   
“Listen, Angie-”  
“Don’t call me that.”  
“Angel. I do love you.”  
“Stop it! Enough! Fuck off and go home!”

Travis took Angel’s top pair of hands and kissed over them.   
“Please…” He murmured. Angel paused for a second. Was Travis being serious..? Angel opened his mouth to reply, but then his mind replayed all the time Travis had pulled this exact move on him. Angel growled and shoved Travis, glaring at him.  
“Get out. If you ever fucking come here again, you’ll regret bein’ born.”  
And with that, Angel slammed the door and stomped into his room.

No man had ever loved Angel. No man ever would. He had to face the fact that all the men who courted him weren’t being honest in their intentions. No one ever told him the truth, everyone hid things from him, everyone made fun of him behind his back, everyone wanted to make it his fault. Angel was so angry that he was crying. Tears of rage slid down his cheeks as he picked up a bottle of wine and hurled it at his bedroom wall.  
“FUCK!” He screamed, throwing himself onto his bed and gripping his pillow tightly. This is what it meant to be Angel Dust.

The glitz and glamour and drugs were only a momentary distraction from the pain and suffering and abuse that everyone hurled his way. And why? Because he allowed it. Angel was so desperate for someone, anyone to love him, that he let people do whatever they wanted to him. And it never stuck. They’d get bored and leave him behind to wonder what he did wrong. Angel Dust was a rite of passage. If you haven’t had a ride, you haven’t been in Hell long enough. The number of times Angel had gotten his heart broken was almost as high as the number of times he’d woken up in his lifetime. Being born on a day dedicated to love seemed to curse him to never have it. He was slowly accepting it. He would never have a boyfriend, a partner, a husband… He was going to be alone until he threw himself into the void. This was getting a little too dark for Angel to stomach right now. If only there was someone who he could talk to about anything in the world.


End file.
